I haven’t started the actual divorce process yet– been very busy preparing to prepare for it though. I envy any couples who are able to walk away from each other without any major difficulty. My adult sons aren’t a factor, but years of accumulated crap has sure become one. Hopefully the fact that I want free of it all, including our house, will help.
As the stereotypical creative type, I’ve been blessed/burdened with a multitude of interests and, for the most part, enough energy to pursue them all. But as my marriage disintegrated, the energy faded. Recent health issues didn’t help. So I finally resolved to make 2015 the year I whittle down my pursuits and cast off the crap.
Among my goals are a desire to get back Out There, wherever “there” is. And that’s one of the positives I’m gleaning from failure: constraints of my marriage prevented me from seizing many, many wonderful opportunities. It’s too late to recapture most of them, but I can definitely position myself for those yet to come.
Here in Texas, even an easy divorce can take a minimum of two months. I’m certainly trying for easy but bracing for difficult. I figure I’ll be legally free by summer… just in time to maybe join my oldest son for a bit in my hometown of San Diego (where he’ll be stationed on an amphibious Naval craft).
I’m also hoping that status will help my dating prospects, which I covered tongue-in-cheek recently. So far “Currently Separated” doesn’t seem to cut it. I can’t say I blame anyone for being reluctant to consider a guy in my spot. There’s probably a common fear that separation means “likely to return to spouse”. Not happening in my case, but again, I get it.
On one hand I’m not really thrilled about dating at this point in my life… I was never good at it when young, and being out of practice for over twenty years isn’t helping! I’m sure I’m committing missteps on Match and in general. But bottom line: I miss people. Too few friends in my immediate area, and too much sitting at home for the past year to fix that. Not any more. I’m ready to socialize. I especially miss live music and arts events. Both will be high on my new agenda.
As noted, consolidating and even eliminating some old interests will be a major focus. Look for changes to this blog, too– more on that later.
There will be a great many developments for me over the next several months, and a lot of work involved in getting through them. But I’m trying to stay optimistic. I think I’m over the worst of everything, and heading for much better things.
If you’ve got a similar or other story to share, add to the comments section! If the spam filter zaps you, I’ll take care of it.
Laissez les bons temps rouler!